The Death of Chivalry
Feminism is the belief that men and women should have equal
rights. In the modern world, feminists have made great strides. They have
earned their freedoms in the educational, professional, personal, and sexual
fields. However, these freedoms have come with a cost. As a consequence for
independence and equality, they have discarded long held values and traditions.
Some of these social norms were beneficial to the healthy gender relationships.
For example, feminist view chivalry as an outdated concept. It places women in
gendered roles that were defined by a patriarchal society. These gendered roles
were necessary in the past. They helped solidify unstable relationships. Chivalry
was a social structure that helped make men more respectful to women. Yet, feminist
excision of gender differences removed this leaving confusion and
disappointment in relationships.
Chivalry Needs to Return
In April 14, 1912, the Titanic sank after colliding with an
iceberg in the North Atlantic. ¾ of the women on the ship survived while ¾ of
the men died. A memorial was erected to those that sacrificed themselves so
that the women and children could live. On January 13, 2012, the Costa Concordia
befell a similar accident. It hit a rock and sank off the coast of Isola del
Giglio. Men shoved their way through the crowd to save themselves.
With the demand of the equal treatment of women, feminist
dismissed chivalry as benevolent sexism. It is benevolent because it gives
women preferential treatment; but, it is sexist because it is based on the idea
that women are weak and need the protection of men. Due to women’s inconsistent
stance on chivalry, men are uncertain as to how to treat them.
“Feminists want men to treat women
as equals; traditionalists want men to treat women like ladies. Are the two
mutually exclusive?” Chivalry is about respect. Its core aspects revolve
around serving others, being polite, and being courteous. In modern terms, it would be classified as
civility. With the re-inclusion of chivalry, relationships would reach a mutual
respect for each other.
My Take
After reading both points of view, I’m leaning towards the
first article. Chivalry, for the most part, is dead. With the rise of the feminist
movement, the independence and equality of women directly contradicts the core
belief of chivalry. Chivalry focuses on men’s subservience and protection of a
women. As much as I want the second article to be viable, it just seems too naïve.
She wants women to be independent and equal while being placed on a pedestal. It
seems unreasonable. There is one thing I agree with in both articles. The lack
of gender roles has destabilized relationship statuses. Men are uncertain as to
how to treat women. Women are disappointed with how they are treated. I’ve had
to sort out several situations like this as a liaison. Sadly, this isn’t
restricted to only new relationships. As much as I like chivalry, it’s dead without either a
complete overhaul or some way to balance it the diametrically opposed concept
of independence. Do you think it’s possible to balance both? If so, how would
you do it? If not, which would you prefer? These questions don’t always have a
simple answer.
Schaeffer,
Sabrina. "Chivalry Is Dead, Long Live Feminism." The Federalist.
N.p., 30 Oct. 2014. Web. 08 Dec. 2014. <http://thefederalist.com/2014/10/30/chivalry-is-dead-long-live-feminism/#disqus_thread>.
Smith, Emily
Esfahani. "Let's Give Chivalry Another Chance." The Atlantic.
Atlantic Media Company, 10 Dec. 2012. Web. 08 Dec. 2014.
<http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2012/12/lets-give-chivalry-another-chance/266085/2/>.
I am so happy someone actually wrote something about this! You are my new favorite person. I completely, 100% agree with you and I cannot be more upset.
ReplyDeleteI believe that I am a 21st century women, who is going to do what she believes is best for her without her gender restricting her in any kind of way. I will go to college, I will get the job that I want, and I will be successful. Yet I am a strong believer of true love and of chivalry and I am so sad that chivalry is dead, just like you said.
So many feminists (and I am so angry with them for thinking this) believe that just because a man is holding a door open for them, they are automatically considered to be inferior. Just because a man is being respectful, thoughtful and considerate means he's automatically viewing the relationship as something to dominate. Chivalry is a way for a man to show that he cares, not because he wants to dominate a women. Women can be "chivalrous" as well, just in different ways. It's a way to show respect for someone who you're in a relationship with. Or even that you love them. Sacrificing your life even, isn't that sweet?
Maybe I've just read way too many of Nicholas Spark's books or seen way too many princess movies, but I believe going above and beyond what you would ever consider rational when it comes to relationships. I feel like today, in our fast society, there's no more time for developing true feelings for each other, for the little ways of showing each other that we care. And it is ruining so many relationships...