The best solutions I can come up with is a restructuring of the
dating world. This cannot be done all at once. There are a few steps to proceed
the modification. The first is the re-establishment of defined gender roles in
dating. This includes the reclusion of chivalry into the system. It was a nice
system where women were treated respectfully and were valued. In modern times,
it has been phased out because it undermines the feminist viewpoint of
equality. I believe this is like shooting yourself in the foot and creating
more instances of cat-calling and rape. So with its return, it might mitigate
those problems. The second is the elevation of understanding. This is targeted
towards both the males and females. It is currently impossible to know exactly
what someone else is thinking. So don’t expect your partner to do exactly as
you want them. I suggest talking to each other about those things. This
includes if it is embarrassing or could potentially hurt your partner. Full disclosure
is for the best. Misunderstandings and secrets only delays the inevitable and
when they come to light, they often bite back with interest. The last step is
something almost completely out of a person’s control. The best way to fix a
problem is to let time pass. With passing time comes changing ideals and a new
world. One person cannot shape it; but, they can nudge it in the right
direction for the generations to come.
You are right, you cannot expect something from a partner without them knowing about it because different people want different things. My current relationship is build on honesty, that we tell each other everything no matter how embarrassing or hurtful it might be for the other person. For this reason, we know each other in a very deep level and are able to connect so much better.
ReplyDeleteI also allow my significant other to be chivalrous. I don't see it as him being the dominant one in the relationship, I see it as him admiring me, respecting me, and taking care of me. Of course, I try to do the same to him as much as I can and he doesn't mind one bit.
I think feminists see the problem behind chivalry because they see it as being something outdated, something from the old times and something from long ago should be changed. Many of them don't see it how it can be good, and that chivalry does in fact work both ways.
I strongly believe that there is someone out there, who will treat you exactly the way you want to be treated, no less. So you just have to be honest with yourself about what you want, and that person will come to you.
Your topic is so romantic I could talk about it for hours... I love it :)